Fashion Police Squad opts instead for a “square peg to square hole” design philosophy there’s an assortment of guns that you can use, but each more or less only damages one enemy in particular. There can be a whole mob of enemies sprinting at you but so long as you’ve got some choices for long, mid, and close range combat then it’s not too bad and can even be fun to get a hang of. The appeal of FPS games building right on top of the Doom and Wolfenstein model is that you get speed and options. So that’s the good stuff out of the way, because holy crap was this tough to get through. As the objective for a level changes so too does the marker, a bright green in contrast to the whites and grays of chic urban living. Your weapons are indicated on the lower right and can be toggled through independent buttons, or accessed on an easy to pull scroll wheel. Des is right next to his health bar in the lower left, which gets mustier and dustier the more health you lose. The good thing about boomer shooters is they tend to be very clean in presentation, especially when it comes to the UI, so you won’t get bogged down by clunky health bars or unnecessary indicators. Parodies of fashion brands and ads are thrown about in a way that would resemble a busy downtown space. 2D characters roaming around 3D spaces is the standard for a Doom clone, but putting that in a metropolitan context is enough of a shakeup to notice. I think that the presentation is decent, at the very least. As you go through the game you unlock more weapons to engage with various enemies all while navigating a plot that could be bigger than the fashion statements you encounter. From drab suits to vaping hooligans, you’re tasked with using your arsenal to bring these threats down and bring peace to the streets. You play Sergeant Des, a member of the Fashion Police Squad (FPS, you get it?) who’s in charge of hitting the beat and taking down all sorts of fashionable no-nos. Mopeful Games, a studio from Finland, went ahead and made a boomer shooter with a unique twist, but it ultimately does more harm than good. This is all to say that actual fashion discussion, despite my own naivete on the subject, is leagues better than having to play Fashion Police Squad. Hell, shoutout to the green Triforce shirt and cargo shorts-havers for daring to change it up from a black band t-shirt. Shoutout to the goths, shoutout to the hypebeasts, shoutout to everyone who manages to know what they’re about eventually and commit their closets to representing that. I know plenty of people who make their fashion choices well known and some who even get that sweet sweet influencer money for just curating their entire aesthetic. I wear jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie whenever winter rolls around, and my most daring attempts to spruce my wardrobe up mainly amount to wearing more button ups. So I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know shit about fuck about fashion.
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